Why do minorities tend to support the oppression of their oppressors? White gays do it. White women do it and Black people do it. I think they call it, Stockholm Syndrome. To try to understand, I am going to examine how I may have been trapped within this psychosis and my journey of escape.
I grew up in a working, yet middle class family. My dad was a construction worker and my mother was a nurse and summer school teacher. We were not rich, yet in our poor urban community in Baltimore, we were seen as privileged. Privileged because I had two parents in the household who were married, they had a mortgage on a single family home and were not apartment renters, both my parents had cars and we took summer vacations. Scholastic achievement, getting a degree and then a professional job was just the norm and expected as something we just simply did in our family. My grandmother was a teacher, my aunt was a teacher, my great uncle was a Biology professor at Johns Hopkins University, I had uncles and aunts who are doctors, lawyers and politicians and my aunt, my mother's sister who entertained our family during the holidays lived in a mcmansion in a gated community outside of Washington, D.C. These are middle class values and what I saw growing up, a Huxtable family pretty much.
Yet, despite this bourgeoisie upbringing, my parents were just slight of being able to afford to place us in private school. They tried. So I went to public school and was relegated to a zone school, which often grouped us in with children coming from some of the most urban blighted communities surrounding us in West Baltimore. Every day there was a fight. I was bullied but I would fight back. The curriculum was watered down, which is why my mother did things to supplement our education and challenged the board of education in court. I was often teased for so-called acting and talking white.
Because of this, I used to dream of going to a white school. I would fantasize about the schools on "Boy Meets World" "Dawson's Creek" and "90210". I wanted my school life to be like that....hence to be around White people. I didn't understand that the problem was the effect of poor, underprivileged black people and not just a black problem. I began to think being angry, ignorant, ghetto and violent was a black thing that just somehow was not in me. I even started to listen to more alternative rock to distance myself from that. When the time came to choose a college, I was strongly suggested to attend an HBCU as did many of my elders. From my experience with Black Schools, I did not want more of the same and made my decision to attend a predominately White private college just North of Baltimore, Villa Julie College, now Stevenson University. Now, not only was I going to school with White folk, I was going to school with rich White folk. The governor’s daughter went to our school. I was finally living my “Sweet Valley University” experience.
For the first time I began to experience what it was like being a Token Black. Unlike the meanness I directly experienced in public school for being “alternative Black”, I was now treated like some kind of unicorn and spokesperson for all things considered “Black”. Seeing myself as just another student, I would often forget that I was Black and the only Black in most of my classes until running into these “otherizing” experiences, “Why do Black people…” While I didn’t feel endangered, for the first time I began to feel what it meant to be isolated by race. I wanted to be among them, but I wasn’t. They were generally nice to me, but there were just certain social cues that I was picking up on that they saw me as something different from them. I could tell that I was being talked about behind my back and many of the niceties I received were condescending and patronizing. It was niceties that were not genuinely conveying appreciation and dignity for the unique individual that I am. When I was included, it was as if it were done to prove moreso to themselves than to me that they were not racist. My racial support network was just not there. Everything I did or didn’t do reflected upon my race and informed them about what they thought about Black people. At first I was excited to teach them differently, because I knew I was intelligent, congenial and raised with a sense of decorum but then that became tiresome especially when they wanted to continually link ghetto, black and inner-city in the breath. When conversations about race came up and revealed many of the deep-seated ignorance among my peers, I was left with the choice of challenging and educating them or just shutting up and being quiet to maintain the peace. I learned that White men in particular do not take kindly to being schooled by Black men, especially being intellectually bested by a Black man in a public setting.
Shortly, I began to ask myself why I was putting so much effort into forcing myself to be among them, to fit in by ways I will never be able to. I could try to act as White as much as I wanted to but that would not change how I am seen and treated in this society that had a place for me which was subservient to Whites. I had to learn that firsthand. Not only that, I was raised with a sense of pride to the degree that a subservient role based on my Blackness is just not going to work for me. I saw myself as just as good, intelligent, decent, strong and good-looking as they were, if not superior than some. I felt good enough to compete with the best of them. Soon, I began to look over the history of Blacks in and out of the context of colonialism, and began to see that I am a descendent of much to be proud of to the degree that it would be insecure and beneath me to try to fit in among Whiteness. Though I speak a White Man’s language, I have a White Man’s name, was given a White Man’s religion, our numerical and mathematical system is African, our systems of government are African in origin, the roots of Western Philosophy are African in origin, the wisdoms of Jesus are predated by Africans, the sciences of Chemistry and Astrology are African...African in origin like me. They got it all from us and stole the credit too, then made us believe that we were savages civilized by Europeans when in actuality it was the other way around. They won’t teach this in our schools because it would turn White Supremacy on its head and Blacks would once again begin to depend upon their own genius to liberate themselves. What I experienced in my youth were not Black people, but colonized Black people who did not know themselves. They behaved like the savages they were taught they were and knew no better.
At this stage now, I have no hate in my heart for white people. Because I know what their society is now about and understand their designs, I don’t fear them. I see it in action. Because I don’t fear them, I have no reason to hate them. Most individual Whites, like Blacks are unconscious to the designs of White Supremacy which sets them up as social superiors and non-whites as something “other” and/or inferior when in global context, Whites are the minority and the basis of Western European Society is among the most different and primitive in comparison to other enlightened societies among the world. In Europe’s explorations, it borrowed wisdoms around the world it was not yet mature enough to receive and used the potency of it for power, control, and domination in the age of colonialism. Yet in misusing these wisdoms, it is now backfiring upon them. Humanity began in Africa, and moved first into Asia, then Australia and Micronesia and then into the Americas. Humanity last conquest was into Europe. So in the Human family tree, Caucasians are the last born and consequently least developed in their society and consciousness and thereby the most barbaric and violent. It is just a stage that they too will grow out of as many of the other world societies have had to learn to transcend. With that it mind, I don’t give too much value to Western Society anymore. I just don’t feature it in any special degree in relation to any of the other societies of the world like when that was only all I knew. Understanding this is why in my search for a life partner, White men are not on my radar anymore than they should be in proportion to their population size in the full breadth of humanity. They are not excluded, but they are not featured and are marginalized in my view. One would have to be magnanimous, exceptional and much more than White to catch my attention and compete with the beauty of the majority of men who are men of color. They will get no special treatment from me. This has now allowed me to move about in White Society with a sense of independence and authority not conferred upon me by their society but assumed from a knowledge of who I am and what I inherit. They can not take that away.
Yet, despite this bourgeoisie upbringing, my parents were just slight of being able to afford to place us in private school. They tried. So I went to public school and was relegated to a zone school, which often grouped us in with children coming from some of the most urban blighted communities surrounding us in West Baltimore. Every day there was a fight. I was bullied but I would fight back. The curriculum was watered down, which is why my mother did things to supplement our education and challenged the board of education in court. I was often teased for so-called acting and talking white.
Because of this, I used to dream of going to a white school. I would fantasize about the schools on "Boy Meets World" "Dawson's Creek" and "90210". I wanted my school life to be like that....hence to be around White people. I didn't understand that the problem was the effect of poor, underprivileged black people and not just a black problem. I began to think being angry, ignorant, ghetto and violent was a black thing that just somehow was not in me. I even started to listen to more alternative rock to distance myself from that. When the time came to choose a college, I was strongly suggested to attend an HBCU as did many of my elders. From my experience with Black Schools, I did not want more of the same and made my decision to attend a predominately White private college just North of Baltimore, Villa Julie College, now Stevenson University. Now, not only was I going to school with White folk, I was going to school with rich White folk. The governor’s daughter went to our school. I was finally living my “Sweet Valley University” experience.
For the first time I began to experience what it was like being a Token Black. Unlike the meanness I directly experienced in public school for being “alternative Black”, I was now treated like some kind of unicorn and spokesperson for all things considered “Black”. Seeing myself as just another student, I would often forget that I was Black and the only Black in most of my classes until running into these “otherizing” experiences, “Why do Black people…” While I didn’t feel endangered, for the first time I began to feel what it meant to be isolated by race. I wanted to be among them, but I wasn’t. They were generally nice to me, but there were just certain social cues that I was picking up on that they saw me as something different from them. I could tell that I was being talked about behind my back and many of the niceties I received were condescending and patronizing. It was niceties that were not genuinely conveying appreciation and dignity for the unique individual that I am. When I was included, it was as if it were done to prove moreso to themselves than to me that they were not racist. My racial support network was just not there. Everything I did or didn’t do reflected upon my race and informed them about what they thought about Black people. At first I was excited to teach them differently, because I knew I was intelligent, congenial and raised with a sense of decorum but then that became tiresome especially when they wanted to continually link ghetto, black and inner-city in the breath. When conversations about race came up and revealed many of the deep-seated ignorance among my peers, I was left with the choice of challenging and educating them or just shutting up and being quiet to maintain the peace. I learned that White men in particular do not take kindly to being schooled by Black men, especially being intellectually bested by a Black man in a public setting.
Shortly, I began to ask myself why I was putting so much effort into forcing myself to be among them, to fit in by ways I will never be able to. I could try to act as White as much as I wanted to but that would not change how I am seen and treated in this society that had a place for me which was subservient to Whites. I had to learn that firsthand. Not only that, I was raised with a sense of pride to the degree that a subservient role based on my Blackness is just not going to work for me. I saw myself as just as good, intelligent, decent, strong and good-looking as they were, if not superior than some. I felt good enough to compete with the best of them. Soon, I began to look over the history of Blacks in and out of the context of colonialism, and began to see that I am a descendent of much to be proud of to the degree that it would be insecure and beneath me to try to fit in among Whiteness. Though I speak a White Man’s language, I have a White Man’s name, was given a White Man’s religion, our numerical and mathematical system is African, our systems of government are African in origin, the roots of Western Philosophy are African in origin, the wisdoms of Jesus are predated by Africans, the sciences of Chemistry and Astrology are African...African in origin like me. They got it all from us and stole the credit too, then made us believe that we were savages civilized by Europeans when in actuality it was the other way around. They won’t teach this in our schools because it would turn White Supremacy on its head and Blacks would once again begin to depend upon their own genius to liberate themselves. What I experienced in my youth were not Black people, but colonized Black people who did not know themselves. They behaved like the savages they were taught they were and knew no better.
At this stage now, I have no hate in my heart for white people. Because I know what their society is now about and understand their designs, I don’t fear them. I see it in action. Because I don’t fear them, I have no reason to hate them. Most individual Whites, like Blacks are unconscious to the designs of White Supremacy which sets them up as social superiors and non-whites as something “other” and/or inferior when in global context, Whites are the minority and the basis of Western European Society is among the most different and primitive in comparison to other enlightened societies among the world. In Europe’s explorations, it borrowed wisdoms around the world it was not yet mature enough to receive and used the potency of it for power, control, and domination in the age of colonialism. Yet in misusing these wisdoms, it is now backfiring upon them. Humanity began in Africa, and moved first into Asia, then Australia and Micronesia and then into the Americas. Humanity last conquest was into Europe. So in the Human family tree, Caucasians are the last born and consequently least developed in their society and consciousness and thereby the most barbaric and violent. It is just a stage that they too will grow out of as many of the other world societies have had to learn to transcend. With that it mind, I don’t give too much value to Western Society anymore. I just don’t feature it in any special degree in relation to any of the other societies of the world like when that was only all I knew. Understanding this is why in my search for a life partner, White men are not on my radar anymore than they should be in proportion to their population size in the full breadth of humanity. They are not excluded, but they are not featured and are marginalized in my view. One would have to be magnanimous, exceptional and much more than White to catch my attention and compete with the beauty of the majority of men who are men of color. They will get no special treatment from me. This has now allowed me to move about in White Society with a sense of independence and authority not conferred upon me by their society but assumed from a knowledge of who I am and what I inherit. They can not take that away.
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